Interview With Angie Smith
My name is Cuream Christopher Bronte Jackson. I was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut. That's where my mom’s family was from and my dad is from Jamaica. I lived in Atlanta from the third grade all the way through college. My parents were never together. I came out when I was a sophomore in high school.
I found out I was gay when I was 11. My dad didn't really talk to me until I graduated high school. I would call him every now and then just to check in for Father's Day and his birthday. We would have very short conversations. I remember him saying: ‘You can be anything you want son, as long as you are not homeless or gay.’ In Jamaican culture, being gay is not a thing that is accepted.
I did everything I could to stay out of the house. That's when I discovered cheerleading. I was drawn to it because I wanted to be in the circus. Growing up, I never saw other artists of color in the circus and I didn’t realize it was an option. In cheerleading, I was surrounded by people that were loving and caring and it opened up my horizons and helped me come into my own. I learned the value of really awesome friends and finding your own way.
Boise was not on my radar until a few friends came out to a show and said: ‘you’ve got to come to Boise, you'll love it.’ I was really looking to get out of Atlanta because I had spent the majority of my life there. Boise happened to pop up at the right time. I came out to visit in January of 2016. My friends brought me to Stanley and it was my first time seeing so much snow. We went to all these different hot springs. I was blown away in the first four days and one of my friends said: ‘you should move here’.
I decided to go with it. As soon as I got home I told everyone: ‘I think I'm moving to Boise.’ I worked through that last summer in Atlanta, then packed all the things into my Nissan Altima and drove 32 hours with my best friend across the country. It'll be four years now in August.
In Atlanta, the percentage of Black people is so much higher. There's not a sense of separation so if someone is being mildly racist, they get called out immediately. Here, I’ve had many educational moments with close friends where I have to politely respond to an offensive comment. It's a weird position to be in because if you respond in the way that you want to, it makes you feel the stereotype of the angry black person. That has happened way more times than I can count here.
There are lots of moments where I feel isolated in Boise. Many times I'm just walking home from work in the North End and people will cross the street to make sure I'm not following them. In the Circus, there are some roles that I can't get because of the color of my skin. And other times I am included because I am a token.
After being in Boise for a long time, I went back to Atlanta to surprise my sister for her birthday. Upon entering the room and meeting everyone at the party, I thought: ‘wow, this is the first time I've been in a room with all black people in a really long time.’ It was something that I hadn't really noticed before. It was refreshing and I felt that I could be comfortable and honest.
After George Floyd, everyone reached out to me at once saying: ‘hey, are you doing okay?’ Of course they mean well but you're also inadvertently making us deal with that situation over and over and over again. People of color have to build a sense of numbness towards the things that happen to us because if we deal with it on a daily basis, we wouldn’t be able to survive.
In the Cirque piece that I shared, I wanted to create something that would impact someone. I was feeling a lot of frustration because I do feel very isolated in Boise. The majority of my family is in Atlanta where most of the bigger protests were happening. I felt like I wasn't able to contribute in a way that would be substantial. I was also concerned because my niece has to grow up in a world where you can do everything right and just be existing, and you could get killed for that. You can get killed by the system that's supposed to help and protect you. I think creating this piece was a kind of mourning built to a boiling point.
Boise is all about ‘local’ but local isn’t necessarily synonymous with diversity. For example, the refugee population in Boise is a beautiful thing. But there aren’t centers or spaces being created for them to thrive. So you are welcoming to refugees, but you're not necessarily giving them a space to flourish and put their roots down.
Everyone says they want diversity and they want something new and exciting, but they don't want to give the mic and the tools to people and just let them tell their stories. When you actually give the mic to voices that haven't been heard, you get a perspective that is genuine and authentic. That creates a space for more individuals of color to thrive and succeed."
-Cuream Jackson
July 11, 2020
Boise, Idaho